Don't ever forget about me.

Dear World,

I wanna say that I have been busy, hence the lack of postings.
But the truth is, I have been avoiding you.

Things just started getting...to real.
To permeant.
To upsetting.
To legit.

I had to check out for a little while.
I couldn't deal anymore.

I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling.
I was alone.

There wasn't anyone to turn too. There wasn't anyone I could reach out too.
I almost ran away.

In the middle of Sydney, Nebraska, i walked away.
100 degrees, dressed in black, make up all over my face
I ran. I ran like I didn't have a care.
I could feel people following me. I could feel people staring at me, but none of that mattered.
I was alone, again. I was all I could rely on.

I got to this little mom and pop restaurant and I looked in the window and saw all these old couples eating lunch and I can't explain it. I had to sit down.
I felt like I couldn't breathe.
I sat on a bench and read there crappy little newspaper until my mom called me and asked me to come back so my aunt could take me home.

I walked back, because I didn't want a ride. I needed the air.

I walked under this bridge and it inspired some amazing poetry-esk thoughts that i wish i could have written down right then.

Let's see if I can remember:

Looking down all I see is this ledge.
I can feel the air, pushing me closer and closer
Teasing my self with the illusion i'll jump

Life is funny in this sense
You spent your life feeling so heavy
So weighed down you can't control it anymore
You jump.

You feel so weightless,
Everything is out of your control.
You float down, because for those couple of moment
You remember what it felt like to breathe.

That's not exactly the same but it's most of what i can remember with some extra thrown in.

Don't take this as i'm going to jump of an overpass.
This is just what I started thinking when I saw this.

On a happier note, yesterday was amazing.

I got so burned and it makes me sad, but it doesn't even matter.

Yesterday was SO beautiful and amazing and exciting. :)

I can't wait for Warped 2011. [:

lovezzzz.

-Alisha<3