your cover melting inside, with wide eyes you tremble.

dear world,

this blog is going to be in many parts and prolly be very long.

partone. last night.


i had an amazing day yesterday.
i got to spend time with my love and just hang out and watch a movie and listen to music.
it was on of those nice chill days where things just feel nice.
we went to southlands and hung out with andy and it was amazing to meet him.
he is so amazing an so funny an sweet. :)
i felt really happy to meet him.
he's definitely someone i could see myself hanging out with more often.

part two. last night after chipotle.

im sorry we had a misunderstanding.
i told you we could hang out.
i told you i would meet you.
but no. you got so emotional.
you went out and got drunk.
you scream at me and tell me to fuck myself.
to get of my high horse and stop acting like a princess.

you know what!
fuck you!
i should have told dad to leave to pass out at southlands.
i should have told him to leave you there to attempt to walk home.
instead of driving around for 45 minuets before you finally got in the fucking car.
do you realixe how sick you make me?
how much i hate you sometimes.

i can;t do this anymore.
i will get a job and i will get emancipate.
and when i turn 18 i'm going to move across the world and you'll never have to see me again.
you'll never get a chance to disappoint me again. to make me cry.

do you know how embarrassing is was to have to drag you out of there with someone i had just meant and my boyfriend there?
not that you care.
your to selfish to give a fuck.
UGH you are pathetic.

oh! and dad.
you need to grow some fucking balls and tell her to gtfo.
she needs it.
tell her to go to rehab.
cos if you pick her over me again, you won't get another chance.
ever.

i can't talk about this anymore.
i'm getting angry.

part three. stupid bitch.

you, you know who you are.
STOP STALKING MY SHIT.
you are creepy as fuck and you are intensely pissing me off to the point i'm going to find some way of getting in contact with you and telling you if you keep treating my boyfrenn and me the way i do, i will beat the shit out of you. and i'm not kidding.
and if you think i'm scared of you, your fucking crazy.
i'm done with you referencing me in you blog.
GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND SAY IT TO ME!
your so pathetic it's fucking ridiculous.
you won't ever do anything to get in between us so stop making a fool of yourself and back the fuck up.
i'm over your games.
i'm over your fake personality.


part four.

i love you but the fact that when i needed you most and you weren't there just made me really sad inside.
that's all.


part five.

i said somethings to tommy last night i haven't been able to say to anyone ever.
some things i never wanted to admit.
never wanted to say out loud.
i hate i finally am okay with your decisions
because i don't want anyone else feeling this way.


i can't bring myself to blog anymore.
so this is all for now.
not as long as i though.



lovezzzz.
-Alisha<3