i can feel you all around me, thickening the air i'm breathing.

dear world,

i think people have it all wrong.
i think that love doesn't hurt.
i think that all the things you feel when you are in love,
all the extra emotions are the ones that make you hurt,

i think love is the only true emotion that is so pure and forgiving and perfect.
i think love is the only one that can take away all those other feelings.

i think that i'm so dependent on you.
and i'm scared sometimes because i don't want to change it.
i'm okay with needing you as much as i do.

but there are times when it feels like every cell in my body is begging me to be near you,
when every atom in my skin needs you.
and when i can't have you,
it's like all the tiny atoms break and it's crushing.

it's a heavy weight put in your heart knowing that when you want someone the most,
they can't be there.
and when you can't think of anyone else but them,
they can't be there.

it's terrifying to know that your existence is based upon someone else's

someday, things will be different.
someday i can tell you i want to cuddlez and you'll be right there next to me.
and i won't care where we are,
or anything that happened before that moment.
because you'll be holding me,
and that's all i need.


lovezzz.
-Alisha<3