my life is lifeless bedrooms and empty eyes telling me lies.

Dear world,

why does this always happen to me?
sometimes i think that the world is against me feeling even an inch of happiness.

i feel like my life is out of my control.
it's like there is someone else watching my life happen and i can't do anything to stop it.
and no matter what people tell me, it's not going to be alright.

things in my life never turn out 'alright'.
no matter how many good things i do,
no matter how much i try to be a good person,
someone, somewhere has it out for me.

i'm so sick of pretending everything is okay.
and walking around with a fake smile
its not fine.

i hate that everytime i walk away and then come back everyone was just talking about me
and everyone gives me the look.
the look that says, i feel so bad for you.

all i want is to be with tommy.
i want to cry and him to hold me and tell me someday things will be different.
but of course, i can't have that.

i can't take it.
i don't deserve this.
i fucking hate you.
more then i can feel.
more then i can tell you.

you fill my life with lifeless bedrooms and empty eyes telling me lies.


lovezzz.
-Alisha