So...


I'm over having a conscious.
I feel like I keep letting the only person who is always there for me, down.
Why is it that I always either get let down or let others down?
Maybe I should try to fix that.

I feel like shit. But I think it is more in my head then in my body.
Every time i go to sleep it's dark and i feel confused like there should be something there and there isn't.
I feel like I want to get out of here. I want high school to be over and I want to start to see the world.
I hate this feeling of enclosed spaces and being stuck in a rut.

Sometimes when I think about my life, I cry.
I cry for what I have lost. I cry for what I lack. I cry for how I have been treated. I cry for what I wish my life was like.
I miss people in my life that used to be there.
I have always been a strong believer in what ever happens happens and everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wish things had happened differently.
But hey, those bitches are gone for a reason I guess. ;)

I want to stop feeling so alone. It's like no matter what I do, I never feel like other people are there with me.
That whole "being alone in a crowded room" thing applies to me often.
I just really want to feel like I am good enough. Like I mean a lot to people.


So I think i'm done being whiny for now.

I love you, whoever you are.

-Alisha.